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Column:
Variant Coverage
"PSA"
By Adam White
Published: 01 June 2006
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Like many folks, I sometimes get behind on certain series or miss out on other things for whatever reason and then
I’m left trying to play catch-up. If what I’m looking for is still in stock where I buy my comicbooks (Midtown
Comics for new stuff, MyComicShop.com for back issues — hey, I live in the middle of nowhere) then I’m all set;
but if what I seek is not to be found, and I exhaust all my other options, then I grudgingly go to the only recourse for lost
souls such as myself: eBay. Yes, that bestial bastion of depraved Internet commerce, the gathering ground of swindling swine
and bird-brained barbarians ready to gouge your wallet or infuriate you with their staggering incompetence; eBay is the web
address that grabs you by the soul, takes a big bite, and then spits it into a pile of fecal matter better left unexplored.
Is it all bad? Absolutely, but you can still occassionally find some good deals. Miss out on a miniseries? Quit
that long-collected title right before it got good? eBay is where you can fill those holes, even if it does create a new one
in your soul. Sometimes people just want to get rid of excess books to make room for or bring in money for new comicbooks and
those are the best people to buy from, unless of course they are mentally unsound. The best way to determine soundness of
mind (or lack thereof) is by counting how many misspellings they make in the listing and the grievousness of those errors. For
example, you’re probably alright if you find “Uncany X-Men,” but you’re better off skipping out on
“Wearwulff bie nYte” no matter how good the price is. Common errors and random typos are one thing, but
wholesale stupidity is better off avoided entirely.
You must ALWAYS check the shipping costs. Many sellers start their asking prices low and then put all the costs in the
shipping price. I have seen comics for 99 cents with shipping costs of $12.95
Sellers that gouge on shipping should be drawn-and-quartered and have their pieces sold on eBay to other worthless freaks.
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for Media Mail, which usually costs less than
a dollar to send one comicbook; these sellers should be drawn-and-quartered and their pieces sold on eBay to other worthless
freaks. Sellers that charge “handling” fees are also jerks, mainly because if you are selling on eBay then you
have tacitly agreed to box and ship what you are selling — to think you deserve extra cash just for sending what you
sell only means you’re an idiot. Also beware of “shipping determined at auction’s end” — this
simply means if the seller did not get what they wanted for an item they can jack up the shipping cost to make up for it.
Never buy anything from anyone who does not list a picture of the item they are selling; this is a sure-fire way to tell
there is something they don’t want you to know. And don’t tell me that some people do not have the equipment to
put a picture in the auction — if you are going to sell on eBay then you need to do it right. And if the seller is
just too stupid to figure out how to do it then you shouldn’t buy from them anyway because odds are they cannot do any
of the other selling steps correctly either.
I get really tired of @$$%*#&$ that hound you for payment two seconds after the auction ends and then take three weeks
before they bother shipping out what you paid for; these sellers should be forced
Slow-shipping sellers should be forced to purchase the air they breathe on eBay
and then wait three weeks to receive it.
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to purchase the air they breathe on eBay
and then wait three weeks to receive it. Again, if you sell on eBay you have knowingly agreed to ship what you sell in a
timely fashion and to do anything less is lazy, irresponsible, and means you are a jack@$$. I always pay online immediately
or send out payment within 24 hours of winning something, yet these clowns don’t care about anything past receiving
their payment. Show some decency and get the stuff you sold mailed out, people. If you are too busy doing something else
then you shouldn’t be selling on eBay.
Another problem I have encountered recently is that sellers grade their comicbooks Near Mint and bag & board them all,
then they put them in a flimsy paper mailer and send them through the mail only to end up bent in half and crammed into the
back of your mailbox. ALL COMICBOOKS SHOULD BE SENT IN BOXES WITH ADEQUATE PROTECTION YOU @$$#*!@$. It takes real
cajones to put comicbooks in such pathetic packaging and expect the buyer to be satisfied with your ignorance.
Something else that hacks me off is sellers who knowingly try to rip off people with reprints and items that are not what
they claim. I recently saw an auction for Amazing Spider-Man #129 (the Punisher’s first appearance, which I
still don’t have) going for around fifty dollars and took a look at it; the seller said he got it at a house auction
along with a bunch of other books he would be selling, because he wasn’t into comicbooks. However, in the picture I
could clearly see that it had a “First Appearance of The Punisher!” blurb and Lion’s Gate logo on the cover — it was the issue
movie theaters gave away when the film was out! The nerve of this guy! I e-mailed him and informed him of his mistake
— I’m conscientious like that — yet surprisingly received no response. But on the flip side, if you are
too stupid to see through such an obvious rip-off scam (it was right there in the picture, dumb@$$es!) then you deserve to
get taken.
Finally, anytime you are going to make a more expensive purchase you should always contact the seller beforehand just to
see how long the response takes. This is a good indication of if the seller is legit and how long it will take them to ship
what you buy. If it takes days to get back to you then it means you will be waiting quite some time for your shipment so you
have to decide if it is worth it or not. If the seller does not respond at all then you better forget it and look elsewhere
because you will never receive what you pay for.
Most importantly: if an offer sounds too good to be true, it is.
Granted, there are plenty of problems with buyers as well, which is why I usually never sell on eBay anymore either. I
know I do everything the right way, but that cesspool is filled with rejects that do not know how to mail a payment. And
don’t get me started on Zero Feedback Bidders and Non-paying jackwads. The bottom line is that eBay attracts the worst
elements of society and ruins the potential of the site for the three people who actually want to use it correctly.
eBay’s biggest problem is that it relies solely on the Honor System, a commodity most users are devoid of.
I hate eBay because of the mental, physical, and emotional anguish it causes me and the undue toll it takes on my
wellbeing.
But sometimes I have no other choice.
—CCdC—
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