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Column:
Variant Coverage
“There Ain’t No Comin’ Back”
By Adam White
Published: 13 April 2006
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“Mommy, when comicbook characters die, do they go to Heaven?”
“No, honey, they just come back three to six issues later.”
Why can’t comic characters stay dead? Seriously, death has no impact or meaning whatsoever in comicbooks anymore. Comicbook companies have instituted a revolving door policy for the afterlife, with characters heroically giving their lives in one issue and then returning four issues later when the next creative team debuts on the book. They have taglines like “Shocker! Jean Grey Returns from the Dead!” — it would be much more shocking if she actually stayed dead for once. Marvel and DC are equally guilty of this crime, and I will focus on them simply because only they have had characters around long enough to commit this obscenity repeatedly.
Not too long ago, Joe Quesada gave a “Dead is Dead” mandate to Marvel creators, which was only enforced for the length of time it took him to say those words. The first exceptions were made for celebrity writers like Joss Whedon, who, even though I worship the ground he walks on, insisted on bringing back Colossus from the dead. Hey Joss: I like Colossus too, but he sacrificed himself to rid us of the uselessly dangling plotline that was the Legacy Virus; bringing him back only makes that sacrifice worthless and negates any impact that story may have had. Exceptions were then extended to big-name writers, like Brian Bendis, who wondered why Magneto had not shown up to help his daughter Wanda during the “Disassembled” fiasco, so he wrote him in. I hate to break it to you Brian, but Magneto hadn’t shown up because he was dead. Again. But apparently things like death don’t get in the way of the big moments. Next: Well, sure, Claremont can bring back Psylocke again, since she’s his favorite character and all. And it all spiraled from there. Quesada’s defense of the policy was that when he said “Dead is Dead” he felt that he had left himself some room for interpretation, and that people are allowed to change their minds. However, when you’re the EIC of arguably the biggest comicbook company of them all, people consider you a legitimate spokesperson and take you at your word on things. I agree that people are allowed to change their minds, and even encourage it in many cases, but if you’re going to go out of your way to make a big deal out of a policy like that and then immediately break it, why bother to do it in the first place? My guess? Publicity.
DC is no stranger to grave excavating, having killed and resurrected more characters than I care to think of at the moment. Shoot, DC obliterates and brings back whole worlds and parallel dimensions by the dozen, most recently with Infinite Crisis — I cringe every time I think of Alex Luthor juggling planets and singing “He’s Got the Whole World in His Hands.” DC has skillfully reduced major character death to a minor plot device, an obstacle that rates somewhere just below “girlfriend trouble” and “razor burn.” You name him/her, and DC has offed him/her (or his/her namesake) at one time or another. Gone are notions of sacrifice, heroism, and poignant last moments — now everyone knows they only have to wait half a dozen issues or so before seeing the deceased in a new #1 of his or her own title.
The most grievous offenses by both companies leave discerning readers with a sick feeling in their stomachs, unless they have already become so desensitized to character deaths that they simply don’t care one way or the other anymore. Do I hate when characters I like die? Sure, and you bet I have a great story I always wanted to tell with them, too, but I also would not want to undercut their sacrifices (unless it was stupid and pointless, a la Hawkeye and Blue Beetle). That being said, I’d like to note some of these miraculous comebacks at their bungling best:
Jean Grey: Jean is the poster girl for resurrections, having amassed the greatest number of them (as far as I know she is still the title holder). Jean has died more times than she’s changed costumes, and has been cloned and impersonated and everything else you can think of. Jean died again recently, this time killed by Magneto while he was high on mutant PCP, and murdered for reasons and by methods that I have yet to decipher. Don’t worry though — she’ll be back. She always comes back.
Superman: Remember the Death of Superman? How many of you thought that would last? That’s what I thought.
Magneto: Our good friend Magneto is in the running for Jean’s title, simply for the audacious deaths he has escaped. Nuked in Genosha? No sweat. My favorite, though, has to be one of his most recent expirations, when, after killing Jean, Magneto gets decapitated by Wolverine. Now, to me, having one’s head severed feels pretty permanent; Brian Bendis and Chris Claremont both apparently respectfully disagree, since they both brought him back separately and with no explanations whatsoever. In fairness, we didn’t actually see him die in Genosha, but the next time — C’mon, his head rolled, dude...
Hal Jordan: Curse you, Ron Marz! (Kidding) First, DC drives Hal battier than the Joker, turns him into a mass murderer, then a cosmic villain, and then they kill him. Heroically, of course. Then they turn him into the Spectre, just to shut up all those H.E.A.T. fans out there, and then bring him back to full life as the main Green Lantern. Yeah, I lost track too.
Winter Soldier, aka Bucky Barnes: You’ve got to be kidding me. Everyone knows the first rule of comicbooks is that “Bucky Stays Dead.” Except, apparently, Ed Brubaker. I guess he missed that day of class. (I do like Brubaker’s work, though — except for Deadly Genesis)
Jason Todd, aka Robin, etc.: This is the one that gets me the most. As far as I’m concerned, Jason Todd was killed by the Joker many years ago. Mr. J bashed in his head with a crowbar and then blew him up; Batman carried his broken carcass out of the rubble and buried him. The end. So this whole “Jason Todd is back” thing is really just stupid, and getting stupider by the minute.
There are plenty more where these came from, most notably Hawkman, but I don’t have all month to get into that one. I’m sure you can think of your own favorite death/resurrection combos, and probably predict many more soon to come. I can’t wait to see how DC brings back Superboy, although he’ll have a new name thanks to those ruthless, greedy Siegels (please note the sarcasm here).
Oh well. Life goes on, apparently indefinitely. Maybe after Civil War we’ll have a new First Rule: “Only Speedball Stays Dead.”
—CCdC—
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