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Column:
Variant Coverage
"Haters"
By Adam White
Published: 23 February 2006
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It never ceases to amaze me how much rage there is all over the
Internet; give a miniscule brain access to a computer and cheap DSL
and they’ll be in your face at the speed of information in no
time. It’s much akin to handing a blow torch and butane lighter
to a five-year-old with ADHD and telling him to “busy
himself,” and results in about the same amount of
ignorance-induced headaches for all bystanders, innocent or otherwise.
Which raises doubts in the actual age range of current day comic fans
— I was under the impression that the majority of fans were males
aged 20-40 (rough average). However, if we fans and readers are of
such an age, why is so much of the dialogue throughout our community
(online especially) so immature?
To best illustrate what I’m talking about, all you have to do
is check out any forum on any of the news sites or fan sites anywhere
on the internet (Newsarama, The Pulse, et al). Each news story,
interview, or fluff piece is immediately barraged by Haters, unloading
pages-worth of posts attacking the creators and other posters.
Complete Haters post on these boards solely to hate on people,
ridiculing everyone and everything they come across, rampaging from
board to board, spreading their bile and vitriol haphazardly. But
why? What is so wrong in these Haters’ lives that makes them so
bitter and wantonly aggressive? Did a parent throw away their old
big-money comics they found in the attic? Were they not allowed to
read comics as a child? Did they get bitten by a creator? These
all-inclusive complete Haters are the ones I understand the least,
because if you hate comics so much, why do you spend all your time
frequenting the boards and fan sites involving comics?
Next in line are the company-specific Haters, the Marvel Zombies
and DC Whatevers, Image Hounds and Dark Horse Somethingorothers.
These Haters have usually one hallowed company that can do no wrong,
and split their time between blindly praising anything about said
company and hating on everyone else. These aren’t as solid a
breed anymore, but they do still have a presence. They are usually
inarticulate as to why they love Company A yet hate Companies B, C,
and D, and they rarely make a point about anything. The fact that
they are company-specific naturally implies that they are rather
generic and have no particular likes or dislikes, they have just
become a certain company’s faithful follower because it’s
easier to be bland and go along with the herd.
The most popular form of Hater is the creator-specific — the
ones who detest certain creators or large numbers of them, and
occasionally champion one or two creators unworthy of championing.
The hating isn’t even about specific work or titles, but about
the creators themselves, whom the Haters have never even met or
encountered and yet are somehow either offended by their existence or
simply jealous of their success.
For example,
“Haterboi69” may consistently lambast Alan Moore, Neil
Gaiman, and David Mack (plus all their fans), yet constantly praise
Chuck Austen and remind everyone to demand the return of Worldwatch.
Not only do these Haters undercut themselves with such nonsensical
blather, but they generally just waste space (online and off). These
Haters also never offer any valid reasoning for why they hate certain
creators, but then I doubt reason of any kind plays a very big part in
their lives.
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The last big group of Haters are the character-specific, the ones
that follow certain titles and hold a vicious malice towards many
other characters and anyone who might possibly enjoy them. These
Haters also become possessive of “their” characters,
despite the fact they have no legitimate claim over them (unless
they’re stockholders or something, which I doubt). The best
example of this is HEAT (Hal’s Emerald Advancement Team), the
“prominent” group of Haters who made it their lives’
work to restore the title of Green Lantern to Hal Jordan, and trample
anyone and everyone who didn’t share their same violent loyalty
to the character. HEAT was a constant presence on message boards
everywhere, injecting acidic hate into any news item involving GL, DC,
Ron Marz, or any other creator who had even a tertiary involvement in
the downfall of their god-king. And now (completely unrelated to
their efforts) Hal Jordan is back, but where is HEAT (other than
probably e-mailing me right now)? No celebration, no words of thanks,
no real reason to go on living — HEAT is essentially gone
because they have no excuse to hate anymore. I don’t mean to
single these Haters out, but they simply made themselves the easiest
target; there are plenty of other individual character-specific Haters
out there, but none that have reached the status of HEAT, though all
are equally obnoxious.
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There is a variety of other Haters out there, hating specific
things (good stories, change, etc.), and those that hate while
championing idiotic trends and titles, but they are too varied and
numerous to mention in one paragraph (or column). The main point here
is that Haters are despicable creatures, ones that chip away at the
patience of readers and fans who actually enjoy comics and want to
have a dialogue about them (usually online). But Haters will have
none of that, and refuse to allow even one half-intelligent comment to
go unmolested, one sincere reader to go without ridicule.
Do we all have to agree all of the time? Absolutely not. Do we
have to avoid differences of opinion? Not at all. But what we should
do is at least have a little bit of respect for a variety of opinions,
or at least show a bit of common courtesy (although Haters may have to
look that word up). If you don’t like certain titles or certain
creators, that’s fine — but why don’t you try
thinking about why you dislike someone’s work and then
articulate those reasons? Back up your likes and dislikes with some
constructive criticism instead of blind hatred, and we can all benefit
from the discussion and maybe learn more about our own tastes in
comics. Just because I don’t like variant covers and
“Haterer2006” spends all their cash every month buying all
fifteen covers to Lady Spankmonkey doesn’t mean we
can’t be cordial and both be able to express the reasoning and
logic behind our preferences.
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Anytime I write a negative review I always give the reasons I
don’t like it, and don’t just say “it sucks”
and move on to post at the nearest board about how I hate that
title’s creators and hope they develop bird flu. I suggest that
Haters stop hating and start reasoning (Reasoners?) — only then
can you affect any real change in the industry and become a force for
good, as opposed to the social vampires you are now. Remember:
It’s one thing to have an opinion, but quite another to be a
jackwad who likes to not only ruin the experience for current
readers/fans but also perpetuate and reinforce outsiders’
beliefs that comic book fans are worthless, whiny little snots. What
Haters do reflect is the entire comics community as a whole, and the
comics industry as a whole. If you could mold that hate into
something constructive then we could all have a richer experience for
it.
So to those of you who get what I’m saying, whether victim or
perpetrator, and decide you want to think harder about your comments
and try to be a positive part of critical commentary, then good for
you. And for those of you that feel nothing but an impulse to e-mail
or post nasty, juvenile messages about what an idiot I am and how you
hate our website, all I have to say is this:
Screw off, you big butthole poopyheads. Viva la Worldwatch!
—CCdC—
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